Cystitis

What goes wrong

You’re desperate to pee all the time but it feels like you’re peeing fire.
Your pee may look cloudy or red (with blood)
It’s caused by

Bacterial germs
Other infections (like thrush)
Allergies
Friction during serious bonking
Friction from frequent masturbation
But you don’t have to have sex to get cystitis.

How not to get it

If you get it and you haven’t had sex, try changing your soap or vaginal deodorant – you might be allergic to it.

If you get it after having sex, make sure you and your partner wash before and afterwards; try peeing before and afterwards; drink a glass of water with a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda in first; try a lubricant if your vagina is dry.

What to do

Drink a lot of water with a teaspoonful of bicarbonate of soda in each glass.
Cranberry juice and lemon barley water are also good! This flushes out the bugs.
Drink some more water/cranberry juice/lemon barley water
Take an aspirin or paracetamol
Drink more water/cranberry juice/lemon barley water.
Curl up with a hot water bottle.
Drink more water/cranberry juice/lemon barley water.

If you’re still having trouble after a day or two, go to see your doctor as you might need antibiotics.